Wednesday, March 14, 2012

Put away the baggy t-shirt...

Hello, Readers;

I'm afraid today's post is NOT knitting-related. However,  I am currently working on a post regarding the Ninja Turtle pillows and my love/hate relationship with color work. So not to worry, a knitting post is coming soon ;-).

One thing that I have learned about myself throughout the years is that I tend to become somewhat of a recluse (albeit a productive one) if I am left to my own devices. I've been told constantly, "Oh, that's okay, you're just an introvert," but honestly, I don't think that's an accurate description. An introvert keeps to themselves because they want to, and are happy doing so. When I find myself retreating into my fortress of solitude for more than a few days, I find myself getting restless, bored, lonely, and depressed.

I think that the reason I get into this habit is because I've always worked with the public. Ever since I got my first job at 19, I have been bombarded with people on an hourly basis. I worked with the public while I was a grocery store clerk, I worked with the public when I was a barista, I worked with the public when I was a piroshky cashier, hospital lunch lady, video game advisor, customer service representative, and currently as a receptionist.

Don't get me wrong, Readers: I love it. I. LOVE. PEOPLE! As a receptionist, I love being the first person that our clients see! When I was a hospital lunch lady, I loved playing the role of the sympathetic "bartender" for the patients and staff, serving up mashed potatoes in lieu of booze! I open up, blossom, and thrive when I'm around people!

There are times, however, when I start to experience what I like to call "people-overload". This typically happens about once every three months or so, and usually goes down like this:
I will either:
a: have a more than stressful day,
b. bite off more than I can chew with a project/task/assignment, or
c. just be generally in a really bad mood,

aaaaannnnnnd ZAP! Presto-chango, this normally bubbly people person turns into "that lady" know the type. The lady who never leaves her apartment, sits around wearing her old baggy union t-shirt with the ketchup stain on it along with an over sized pair of yoga pants, and who's definition of a wild night is eating cold pad kee mao and watching Dr. Phil.

It's one thing to occasionally have a "me-evening," where I turn off my phone and computer, run a hot bath, pour some good wine and listen to NPR. It's quite another when I become socially comatose for three days in a row. When I spend an evening relaxing and mentally preparing for the next day, it leaves me feeling refreshed and rested. When I turn into "that lady", it just makes feel like a loser.

Thank God that I have an incredible family, fiance, and group of friends who all seem to have this AMAZING ability to sense when I'm starting to morph into a daytime talk show watching shut in and swoop in to stage an intervention.

This past weekend was a case of exactly that. I had a long and VERY exhausting day on Friday, and was feeling overwhelmed with wedding planning, social obligations, and taking on a bit more than I could realistically handle with my volunteer work at church. At the time, I wanted nothing more than to run to my apartment, shut the door, crawl under the covers, and escape the social pressures of the world. My fiance sensed this, (he knows how being a recluse can make me feel lonely and unhappy); and after some gentle prodding, finally dragged me out to a small get together with friends to play board games and watch Futurama.

It's amazing what good conversation, good friends, and Dr. Zoidberg does for a girl's desire to be a part of the world.

Life is still stressful, obviously, but being among good people who make me happy makes it a million times easier for me to deal. Instead of just internalizing everything that bothers me (and I should know better than to do that, I was a Psych major), just being WITH people who listen and reciprocate with stories of their own crappy days makes me feel as if a huge weight has been lifted off my shoulders. These guys GET it. They UNDERSTAND. And once these awesome people remind me how much I love PEOPLE, the more I find myself willing to take an active role in my social life.

So, Readers, my weekend was saved. It was busy, (one of the busiest weekends I've had this year), but it was also FUN! I attended a birthday party for my old DM, during which I almost won a Texas-Hold-Em tournament. I attended an organ recital at St. James Cathedral and was completely blown away (I don't think there is any other instrument that can completely surround you with sound waves). I selected my bridesmaid dresses, did a Costco run, and John and I took our first steps with our Pre-Cana.

God, I love being around people. I love it how having a busy weekend while surrounded by loved ones rests me and relaxes me much more than spending the weekend being stuck under the covers. I'm wondering if I should rig some sort of giant Skinner box to help me snap out of my reclusive tendencies when I get overly stressed...perhaps I should get a shock every time I tune in to the "lifetime" channel. I'm wondering if I could experiment on my future husband... >:) Muhahahahaha!

So, Readers, I will keep you all posted in regards to the exciting things happening around here! More knitting projects will be coming soon!


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