Fetch some smelling salts!

This almost-exact scenario happened, except the dude in the jacket was my coworker (who was also dutifully holding up a Puke Pail for me) and the lady behind the curtain was a team of paramedics.

So, Readers, I fainted for the first time in my life on Friday. At work. In front of clients. And my company's vice president. Suffice to say, it was one of the most embarrassing moments of my life so far and I NEVER want to have that happen ever again.

I will spare you all the gory details of my  little "episode", but I will say, Readers, that throughout the whole humiliating ordeal I learned just how much I appreciate and care for my coworkers. I was very well taken care of while I was "out", and once I came to I was guided to an empty conference room where I sat in a zombie-like state until the paramedics showed up to make sure that I wasn't dying.

 I had a supervisor on one side, asking me the usual battery of "OMG are you alright?" questions: if these "fainting spells" have happened before, if there was any chance I was pregnant, if I had eaten that day, and so on and so forth. My other supervisor was on my other side, cracking "You think THAT's bad?" remarks which, in all honestly, brought me a lot of comfort as I had just lived through one of my worst nightmares.

Once the paramedics were satisfied that there was nothing wrong with my heart or lungs (and that I didn't hurt myself too badly when I fell), I curled up and slept in our offices' "sick room" until my fiance could come and take me home (they didn't want me going home by myself). We were going to call a cab, but because it would have taken about an hour, one of our head administrators gave us both a ride to my apartment.

Readers, when one of your upper-level managers will gladly drive you, a lowly receptionist, home because a cab would take too long, you know you're working in a good environment. Plus, by the time I got home, a bouquet of hand-tied multicolored roses was waiting for me at my door, sent by my co-workers.

John took me to urgent care where they basically told me that I was severely dehydrated and that I need to eat more. I can't help but hang my head a bit in shame;  it's true that I have been dieting to lose a little weight before the wedding day...and I'm ashamed to say that before my fainting spell, I had not eaten all day, not necessarily because I thought I was fat, but because I was so overwhelmed with the wedding coming up that I literally forgot to eat.

John, once again, has proved himself to be the best almost-husband ever. He drove me to and from urgent care, he set up a little "nest" for me on my couch,  he fed me Popsicles, he set his iPhone timer for the doctor's "fluid intake schedule" ("Hon, it's been an hour. Drink another glass.") and played Mario Kart with me until the color returned to my lips (apparently, while I was "out", my lips were the same color as my forehead. That's terrifying).

What have I learned from this ordeal? That: 1. I know I can fully count on those I care about to catch me as I'm falling (literally!), 2. That I will never, EVER let myself go that long without eating or drinking ever again, and 3. That God has provided me, yet again, with the miracles that are my friends and loved ones.

Drink lots of water, Readers! Until next time!

Haiku Friday

My face reveals a
Bemused smirk when they mistake
Me for a lawyer.

(Seriously, Readers, whenever I wear my good black suit I'm mistaken for "the new associate." It's kind of awesome).

Belated Haiku/How to make an Emoti-Margarita

I'm a busy bride.
I can miss a weekly verse
If I so desire.

Apologies, Readers, for missing last week's Haiku Friday. I assure you all that I do have a good reason, though:

pictures courtesy of my fabulous sister (in red). Love you, Q-sie!

I was busy getting my Bridal Butt kicked at croquet, nibbling on delicate delights, drinking tea, being the "Bat Bride*", and celebrating my transition from "Miss" to "Mrs." with family and friends.

My friends, family and neighbors put together one of the two most wonderful bridal showers in the history of bridal showers. I was deliberately kept in the dark as far as planning went, so the minute I stepped out of the car, my jaw hit the ground and stayed there for the duration of the event.

Some very close family friends (who have been a part of my life since I was 10) hosted the event, and under the direction of my parents neighbor (another very close family friend, who I now know is the human embodiment of the Fairy Godmother paradigm), had transformed their front yard into a fairy tale-like tea garden, complete with croquet, cucumber sandwiches, twinkling lights, and BEAUTIFUL flowers:

My mother arranged these herself!

It never ceases to amaze me how life transitions such as this one have a tendency to bring out ALL of my inner emotions, place them in a blender with ice and lime, shakes/mixes them up into one giant Emoti-Margarita, pours the emotional mix back into my brain, and garnishes the swirling mix of euphoria/nostalgia/fear/joy with a tiny umbrella, metaphorically speaking. Throughout the shower, I laughed, I cried, I ran around and squealed like a dork, and I sighed as I was overcome with nostalgic memories. It seems like it was just last week that I was running around that front yard as a kid, throwing water balloons.

I thought that it had "hit me", Readers, that I am getting married in less than a month, but it seems as if these things never quite stop "hitting" me.  I must be walking around with a giant, William-Tell-esque target on my heart, as I'm constantly getting "hit" by emotions as the wedding day gets closer and closer.

Put down a deposit on the one bedroom apartment were John and I will be living as husband and wife? Direct hit.

My final wedding dress fitting, with the veil, jewelry and everything? Direct hit.

Future hubby and I bought our wedding bands? Direct hit.

Bridal shower? Deeeeeerect hit.

I was hit with emotions, yes, Readers, but the bridal shower was still beautiful and wonderful. I am so blessed to have such amazing family and friends!

*Note: The "Bat Bride" comes from a hilarious story when I was out wedding dress shopping. I'll write on that later <3

Until next time <3

Haiku Friday

Ya know, I don't think
Christ meant us to praise him with
Buying fatty food.

Wedding Planning Hooplah part 5: It's time to play....WHAT'S THAT SONG FOR???

John and I are having WAY too much fun in choosing music for the both the wedding ceremony and reception.

The ceremony will be, of course, VERY traditional. The church has this huge/gorgeous/amazing pipe organ that we will be taking full advantage of!

We found an arrangement of this for the organ, which will be my prelude:

Readers, I am going to post some of the music that we're considering for the reception. We are going to play our new absolutely favorite game....


WHAT'S.......



THAT.......



SONG FOR????

Have an awesome afternoon, Readers! Leave me your guesses in the comments!

Haiku Friday.

Stained glass windows are 

etched on Her wings, royalty

sent to humble us. 

Can I Can? I think I Can...

Me as soon as we're all settled in our new place. Image found here:  http://www.dodgegrain.biz/content.aspx?cid=17 

As the weather gets hotter, Readers, a certain, strange urge begins to overtake me.

On my lunch hours, I will haunt Pike's Place market, looking for the best prices on dill. My Internet search engine history will show "jars and rings for sale," "you-pick tomatoes", and "jar sanitizing without a dishwasher".

Readers, I am becoming obsessed with Canning.

This is not the first time I've been overcome by a need for good, homemade pickles, Readers. It appears as if I am (at least) a third generation "Canner"; both of my grandmothers canned anything they could get their hands on, and my mother would "put up" homemade pickles every summer when I was little. Our basement walls would always be lined with colorful jars of pickles, tomatoes, dilly beans, vanilla, and jam.

While growing up in Wisconsin, this was (at least, it seemed that way to me as a kid) the norm for people. EVERYONE I knew canned their own food. Why on earth would anybody buy pickles from the store when you could make perfectly good ones yourself at home at a fraction of the cost? IT'S A COLLOSAL WASTE OF MONEY!

I've done a bit of canning on my own, Readers. One summer while I was in high school, I decided that I was going to make my own pickles. With my mother's watchful eye over my shoulder and my grandmother on the phone for moral support, I washed the cucumbers, sanitized the jars, boiled the lids, prepared the hot water bath, packed the garlic and dill, and after a hot, steamy afternoon (oh, GET YOUR HEADS OUT OF THE GUTTER!) I had two dozen jars of garlic dill pickles that would be ready to eat come Halloween.

Obviously, living in downtown Seattle presents a challenge to this would-be Canner. My mother and grandmothers (ESPECIALLY my dad's mother, who has a legendary green thumb) all have ridiculously amazing gardens that produce baskets and baskets of beautiful vegetables. For them, canning is almost a necessity; any produce that's not eaten fresh HAS to be processed otherwise food gets wasted.

I'm allowed a small "P-patch" in my apartment buildings courtyard, but this is literally only about a square foot of space. Luckily for me, I still have access to amazing and inexpensive fruits and veggies; I live within walking distance to Pikes Place market, AND the Capitol Hill weekly farmer's market. John and I also have a Costco membership.  Even if I have to buy my fruits and vegetables, I can still satisfy my urge to Can.

Another challenge, as I've written before, is the size of my kitchen. My kitchen is TINY. As in microscopic. Space is needed if a scatterbrain like me wants to can fruits and vegetables safely. This is just a sad reality of having a short attention span; my workspace is constantly cluttered with dirty dishes, papers, and whatnot,  but I'm certainly not the first Canner in my family to be easily distracted. I will clear out and sanitize my counter, dining table and even the computer desk, if I must. (My future husband, by the way, is completely supportive of my canning antics. Just so long as I don't get garlic on his laptop).

Organization of time is going to be another hurdle for me. The jars and rings need to be sanitized and organized just so, the brine/liquid/alcohol needs to maintain a certain temperature and pH, and once your cucumbers/tomatoes/beans/whatever have been packed into jars, you need to get the liquid in, lids on, and get those jars in the canning kettle ASAP or you run the risk of Botulism (a form of food poisoning that can literally kill you).

Having an itty-bitty working area and a short attention span is going to be a challenge for me. HOWEVER, I know that I am not the first to be faced with these problems. If I need to cut my canning down to 3-4 jars at a time, then so be it. If I need to get a buddy or my fiance to help me, then so be it.

Canning is a skill that I think is way overdue for a comeback. Being able to know what EXACTLY it is that goes into my family's food will make the prepping, sanitizing, boiling and stewing well worth it.

Aside from my inner granola grinning smugly, I get a strange sort of power rush when I am responsible for making my own food. I got this same rush when I picked vegetables from my garden, and still do when I knead bread dough, or when I make my own barbeque sauce.

Come what may, I can feed my family. Come the zombie apocolypse, alien attack, freak snow-storm, pandemic-du-jour...we will have food that we can trust is not loaded with God-knows-what and that tastes good to boot.

Until next time, Readers!